Farmers To Protest Over “Rubbish” Tiger Woods Performance

Irate Farmers will stage a rally later today to protest at the poor performances of the stars at their annual golf tournament.

farmersSpokesman for the world’s Farmers, Willie Milker, told reporters

The Farmers is our only self titled PGA Tour tournament and we demand the big names to perform.  We are Farmers for God sakes, we always get what we want.  Who does that Tiger fella think he is, playing rubbish like that?  And that pussy Phil Mickelson pulling out with his sore back?  I once ploughed a field with a broken back. Without a tractor.

Milker says Farmers will protest en mass today, blocking the entrance to Torrey Pines with tractors, cows and slurry spreaders.

We drive our tractors at ridiculously slowly on main roads to attend this tournament, have you any idea what that costs us in diesel? Everyone knows we have absolutely no money whatsoever yet we are expected to use valuable hot water and expensive Old Spice to make our bodies smell beautiful and for what?  All so we can come to this tournament and find a wife who will stay home to cook, clean, obey and serve our every need for the rest of her subservient life.  I sometimes wonder if it’s worth the effort.

More as it emerges.

 

pic thanks: the ihandbill.

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