PGA Of America Move Quickly To Appoint Michael Jordan As 2016 Ryder Cup Vice Captain

Reacting to suggestions that former basketball ace Michael Jordan has not had a big enough role in the past two Ryder Cups, the PGA of America have moved quickly to appoint "his Airness" as Vice Captain for the 2016 matches.

"Michael has been there in the background for the past two Ryder Cups and we nearly won," said PGA of America chief Ted Bishop. "We extrapolated that trend and deduced that if he was there much more next time we will surely win."

The former Chicago Bulls star showed incredible foresight at Gleneagles being the first to question the captaincy of Tom Watson after the morning fourballs by telling him in a stern voice he was doing well "for now." 

It is believed Jordan will bring a wealth of menace to the role of Vice Captain at Hazeltine, as well as height.

“I don’t think there is anyone else in the world that pisses European golfers off like Michael Jordan.” said Bishop. “They just cannot understand how a 51 year old ex-basketball player can really help USA golfers. He just needs to stand there beside the tee holding his cigar.  He's awesome. Gets me every time.”

Team USA's newest star Patrick Reed also backed Jordan's appointment.

“He is like the greatest person ever in the whole world," said Reed. I wish he could be standing behind me on every tee at every PGA Tour event. Like my Guardian Angel making me feel really safe. Michael Jordan rules. I wish he was my Dad!”

Phil Mickelson went into even more detail about what Jordan can bring to the team in 2016.

“It just never gets old.” Mickelson said smiling. “Michael can be in my Pod just standing there with his rings and earrings looking menacing at Europeans. Not many people know this but Michael also looks menacing sitting down.  I think we should use that more at Hazeltine.”
More as it emerges.

Category: Satire

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