Sergio Injury Doubt After Suffering “Itchy Hole” In Practice

Jose Maria Olazabal was last night keeping a vigil at the bedside of his top ball striker, Sergio Garcia, after the fiery Spaniard suffered from a fiery hole during practice ahead of the Ryder Cup.

It’s thought an overly thick seam on the inside lining of the crotch of Garcia’s day two team trousers may have caused severe chafing in and around Garcia’s hole area.

Playing partner Rory McIlroy noticed Garcia’s plight early on in their round yesterday. He later told reporters “I could see Sergio wincing and picking his kaks out of his arse all day.  It was pretty disgusting stuff, but we just thought, that’s probably pretty normal in Spain.”

Doctors have administered a topical cream called Vagisil to El Nino’s ring of fire in the hope that it will rectumfy the situation.  Chief team doctor, Dr. Beverly Crusher said “I’ve often used this cream myself for vaginal dryness, burning or just mild irritation, so hopefully it will be perfect for Sergio’s butt. It provides fast, effective relief from feminine itching.”

“This is certainly not the first case I’ve seen of crotch rot on a golf course and it wont be the last”, a smiling Crusher added.

 

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