Lee Westwood Lines Up Monica Lewinsky For Ryder Cup Cigar Girl Cameo

Lee Westwood, the mastermind behind Cigar Guy at Celtic Manor has reportedly booked Monica Lewinsky for this week’s Ryder Cup.

Westwood who can clearly be seen to the right of Cigar Guy (see pic below) when he caused Tiger Woods to duff his chip at a crucial point in the 2010 Ryder Cup, managed to track down Lewinsky to beneath a desk at a Baltimore council meeting where she now plies her trade.

It’s thought the mere sight of Lewinsky at Medinah will immediately upset all  Americans.  And when they see the years have been hard on her and all the extra timber she’s packing it’s expected to compound matters and lead to an easy European victory.

On hearing the news, keen golfer and ex president Bill Clinton said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky” before adding “But we did get up some crazy shit with this massive Cuban cigar, and then made love a good few times.”

Speaking of Love, Davis Love now finds himself in a battle to block Lewinsky’s Cigar Girl cameo in Medinah.  Speaking at a press conference today, the Love machine said “We’ve narrowed the width of the turnstiles at the entry to the course and told security to watch out for a granny with a cuban.  That should do the trick and keep Lewinsky out.”

Cigar Guy

More as it emerges.

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