Peter Lawrie “Way Too Brainy” For His Own Good Say All Powerful European Tour Players Committee

“Who the hell does he think he is coming in here and getting all brainy on us,” was the reaction of a long time member of the European Tour's all powerful Tournament Players Committee today to the induction of Peter Lawrie to their ranks. 

lawrie[5] The all powerful committee, previously known as the shorter European Tour Players Committee recently replaced Barry Lane and Richard Finch with the hyper intelligent Irishman.

The unnamed source inside the all powerful committee went on to say “Lawrie showed up in a suit, and had a laptop with Microsoft Word on it. A few of the caddies are saying he even knows how to use it.  We were getting along just fine deciding really important stuff like whose turn is it to wear white trousers this week until that skinny brainbox showed up at the top of the class.”

Lawrie, who studied Quantum Physics at University College Dublin didn’t take long to stamp his authority on the all powerful committee, immediately throwing a spanner in the  works of the 2014 Ryder Cup Captaincy debate.

“As someone who has yet to learn the workings of the committee, I have an entirely open mind ... but I might ask why is it only a two-horse race for the captaincy?” said the Dubliner peering out through a monocle and slamming a leather whip against a mahogany table.


”What is happening in America has really come out of the blue and maybe we'd need a third horse, a really big horse, to go up against Watson. I’m thinking Red Rum, Desert Orchid, Frankel or Shergar for European Captain. Are any of those still alive?  Hang on I’ll google them.”

The all powerful Players Committee are set to make an announcement on whether a third horse will be joining the Captaincy race after the 3.15 at Kempton tomorrow.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Two Naked Pics Of Holly Sonders. The Big News To Emerge From The 2013 PGA Show

Image
The media centre at the 2013 PGA Show was buzzing yesterday.  Not because of anything that happened at the show.  God forbid! When I rocked in, several men (and one woman) were gathered around an iphone ogling and sharing  two pics of who they claimed were Holly Sonders naked. Now I have to hold my hands up and say, I had to google her to find out she’s from The Golf Channel. I don’t watch the Golf Channel because I don’t have an erectile dysfunction problem or need to rent a car from National.  I’m told adverts for both are all that’s on that channel. How they knew for certain it was her, I dont know.  Unless the cheeks of her ass were on her passport photo and they recognized them from there, but I doubt it. The First Pic The first pic is taken from behind. No pun intended.  The media guys say it was taken by her fiancee (?) and shows Holly in a white thong which has disappeared a dangerously long ways into the bummage.  I’m talking t...
Read more

Sarah Stirk Nipple Gate: Navy Top Leaves Viewers Disappointed

Image
London: Sky Sports management this morning issued a statement  apologizing to subscribers after Sarah Stirk wore a navy dress live on air.  It is believed up to 60,000 horny golfers were left limp after they tuned in to final round coverage of the Valero Texas Open in the hope of getting a glimpse of the legendary Stirk starter buttons. “I pay my subscription, I’m bloody well entitled to see Sarah’s Wimbledon strawberries” said factory worker Paul Manning 52 from Hereford. “I even missed the ten minute freeview, coz my mate Derek tweeted that Stirk was going into the shot centre for ten minutes at 11pm”. The Sky statement read: We apologize unreservedly for the navy dress Sarah wore during last nights broadcast, through which no nipples were visible. This was due to a wardrobe malfunction. However we do intend to rectify this during our US Masters coverage and assure viewers that plenty of bridge rivets will be on show, both from Sarah and special guest Colin M...
Read more

Holly Sonders Quits Golf Channel After Contract Talks Fail. Moves To Fox.

Image
Tissues at the ready guys as this will come as a shock to you all that Holly Sonders , the female face of the Golf Channel, has quit and reportedly taken a job with Fox Sports. According to  reports Sonders, who appeared regularly on “Morning Drive” since 2011, could not come to an agreement on a new contract deal with the Golf Channel and was quickly snapped up by Fox Sports where she is expected to work on golf and NFL. Related: Holly Sonders Does The Ice Bucket Challenge We've had some fun with Holly over the last few years ( was that really her in those nudie pics? ) but now it looks like we'll be crying into those tissues. Join the GolfCentralDaily community on Twitter for loads more comment on and off the course. Follow @golfcentraldoc
Read more