Shock As Irish Health Minister Announces Two New European Tour Events For Balbriggan and Swords

By Ron for golfcentraldaily.com

European Tour officials arriving for work this morning were said to be “shocked and dismayed” that two new European Tour events, to be held in Balbriggan and Swords, Ireland, had been been mysteriously added to the 2013 schedule overnight.

james-reilly-7-390x285 Senior European Tour official James Yip said “we left the folder with the finalized Tour schedule in the office last night and came in this morning to find it had been amended.  We’ve never even heard of Balbriggan and Swords.  They were not on our shortlist and now suddenly they are on the schedule.  There was no evidence of a break-in, just some thick grey curls of matted hair or beard on the ground and the stench of body odour and whiskey.”

Irish Health Minister James Reilly this morning took responsibility for the changes and says he stands over the decision-making processes he used in breaking into the Tour offices and the allocation of Tour events in his own constituency.  Reilly said he travelled over to London last night after playing a gig in Dublin with The Furey Brothers.

Speaking in the Dáil today, the Minister said that he “stands over” the manner in which he jimmied the front door of European Tour offices and scribbled in the two new events, as well as the criteria that was used throughout the process. Responding to a question from Fianna Fáil’s Bully Killeher regarding what in the hell possessed the crazy b*stard, Reilly said that he was “happy to explain whatever aspect [he] fails to understand.”

ron flash Reilly also insisted  he had the idea to stage golf tournaments in Balbriggan and Swords “as far back as 2007″ and called the process whereby he interfered in a private company in a completely different country “transparent”.

The Tour were today reversing the decision using some Tipp-Ex.

 

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